Doing the truth
HAPPY MARRIAGE MEMOS
by John Kpikpi
While driving through a neighbourhood which was still under construction many years ago, I saw some builders working on the foundation of a new building. They were filling it up with the usual laterite (red earth) but mixed in with this were old tree trunks, branches and other things which looked like rubbish to me. I stopped and challenged them about putting the wrong things into the foundation but they replied that it was none of my business. I thought the hired men were short-changing the owner of the building, who was not on site. I was furious at the time because, having been involved in the development of several buildings, I knew exactly the dangers that they were, literally, storing underneath for the owner of the building. Big cracks could appear in the walls of the building later on and the house might actually collapse. The hired builders were lying to the owner of the building. They were not telling him the truth. Or more appropriately they were not doing the truth for him.
Doing the truth is vitally important in every part of our lives. Truth provides security and strength to every relationship. Lies, on the other hand, weaken and will eventually destroy every relationship -even when it looks like it is still standing.
Marriage is like building a house. We’ve got to put the right stuff into it. A big one is telling the truth to each other. If we lie to each other we will be like those workmen whom I caught putting the wrong stuff into the foundation. They didn’t care because it was not their own building but someone was going to suffer for their callousness.
But for you, your marriage is your building. You should care about it deeply. You should not put rubbish into it but rather the truth. Here are some ideas about how to put the truth in…
Do the truth. It is not difficult to tell the truth if you have been living If you’ve done what you know your spouse would like very much, there will be no need to invent a lie about it. So train yourself to do the truth and you will find yourself free from the burden of having to make up lies.
Speak the truth even if it hurts your ‘reputation’. If you have done something wrong, it is better for your domestic reputation that you own up to it and say sorry about it than try to hide it by lying about it. The truth has a habit of coming out eventually so better now than later. Telling the truth may result in some dents in your image but being known for truthfulness will raise your character ratings. Go for character instead of image!
Speak the truth to your spouse even if it might hurt him or her. Knowing each other deeply is possible only if we are free to share our views openly. Nobody likes to be corrected and I also find that many people do not like to be the person who brings the correction either! But we need to be able to correct each other and receive correction from each other. It is a great way to become better people. The only caution here is that we ought to learn to speak the truth in love.
Above all, ask the Lord of Truth, Jesus Christ who said “I am the truth”, to come in and teach you how to live the truth and tell the truth.
Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbour, for we are all members of one body. (Ephesians 4:25)