Building with the Truth (Part Two): Your Spouse is not a Tourist Site!
HAPPY MARRIAGE MEMOS
by John Kpikpi
God endowed mankind with so many amazing features that anticipated marriage. Significant parts of our anatomy and physiology, as well as our psychological and spiritual make-up, were designed and constructed towards this end – that men and women would find each other attractive, pursue each other and finally choose to join themselves to each other in marriage. If God has invested so much wisdom and creative power in order to make marriage happen, there must be a reason for it! I think it will be a big help for us to find out what was in God’s mind when He built the potential for marriage into our design.
A tipper truck is ideally suited to its task of transporting heavy loads of earth to building sites while a sleek saloon car is designed for a very different purpose: to transport people in comfort and style. If the owner of a saloon car uses her car solely for transporting people, she will be using it in line with the designer’s purpose. We could say she is ‘doing the truth’, and the car will do well. If, however, the car owner, because of some great need, begins to use her car for transporting earth, it will quickly run into problems. Proper use is ‘doing the truth’, while improper use is ‘doing a lie’.
For what purpose did God design marriage? There are several reasons, but we will look at only one today. Top on God’s agenda was companionship.
The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18)
God was concerned about the man’s loneliness so He decided to solve the problem for him: He gave him a woman as a marriage partner – a companion.
Companionship is for friendship, closeness, the sharing of our lives and supporting one another. It is important that we set up our marriage to line up with the Maker’s idea of companionship. I have summarised this elsewhere (in the Marriage House book) by saying that companionship is only possible if we are living together with our spouse in the same country, the same town or city, the same house, the same bedroom and the same bed!
If we organise our marriage in this way we will be lining it up with our Maker’s ideas and it will go well with us. We will be ‘doing the truth’. Sadly, for all sorts of reasons (a major one being the hope of financial progress) many married couples live in different homes, or different towns or different countries, for extended periods. This is NOT ‘doing the truth’ but rather ‘doing a lie’.
We should understand that when we jettison companionship, we are introducing a major stress factor into our marriage – loneliness, the very thing that our Maker sought to cure when He designed marriage. Let’s arrange our marriage to achieve the purpose for which it was intended, for companionship. Your wife is not a tourist site to be receiving visits from you, rather she is your home. Your husband is not a tourist destination for you to visit but your home. Do the truth! If you are not together, move and join your spouse and set up home together. A new start awaits you.